I'm not saying this is definitely going on with you, but here's something for thought.

There's a defense mechanism called "projection" where thoughts and feelings you hate or find unacceptable in some way are denied and then projected onto others. You end up thinking, for example, someone else hates you when it's really you who hates yourself. Or if you find sexual feelings unacceptable, you project them onto your T and accuse him of flirting with you...

Here's a definition I found online:
Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.