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<font color="green">Septembermorn,
This is a difficult subject and I can really understand where you are coming from. My godparents seemed to enjoy watching my body respond against my will. They used cruel games that made it even worst. The flashbacks were shaming and even thinking about it now is hard.
My therapist says life is like a slinky you go around and around, visiting and revisiting the same stuff but at a different level each time. So that each time you are addressing it from a different angle and a different level of healing. Sometimes I find that very comforting and other times not so much.
I have had to revisit a lot of the past abuse because I buried the anger and needed to allow myself to feel it. I wish I had more wisdom with this cos I can still feel what they caused me to feel and the fear and shame and pain that came with the forced arousal. I can say I am not stuck there now and knowing the truth about it has made it easier to put into the past. I am determined to not be a victim any longer but I still get stuck in the survivor mode.
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dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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