Hi bazzinger, it can sometimes be a rocky road to doing without/overcoming addictions so don't beat yourself up over this slip. There's nothing to say you can't achieve your goal with a little more persistence.
BUT it does sound like there's been things gone on/going on for you that are making it even harder??. Are you getting any help with these/your feelings?
And would you like to talk a bit more about things here? Would really like to try to help if I can..............
Alison