I've been in a relationship for a while now, and it is causing extreme stress almost weekly but I am finding it hard to leave. I am extremely insecure, and if I don't get reassurance from my bf that he still wants to be with me, or doesn't make it clear that he wants to talk to me, I immediately assume he's thinking of breaking up with me. Obviously it's causing a lot of stress on not only him, but me as well.

I'm uncertain why I am like this, but a few theories of mine are that I either have borderline personality disorder (abandonment etc.), severe trust issues for no reason, or that we simply aren't compatible - I say this because I am the type of person who loves to talk a lot, all day. I think about him a lot and wonder what he's up to. However, he's the complete opposite and even if he does think about me a lot, he does not make that obvious at all; his style is to communicate rarely online/call (and hence we do not talk as much as I would like or I was expecting to; I sometimes resent him for this since I feel I must always refrain from contacting him when I want to), however in person he is very affectionate and caring. It is merely when we are apart, which is a lot due to busy lifestyles, that negativity and insecurity creeps up on me, and I end up causing an argument that pushes him away more. Another major incompatibility is that when he is stressed he tends to need space whereas I require confrontation immediately to solve the issue - this makes me feel even more stupid, like I am smothering him. Truthfully, I simply cannot give space. I would prefer to break up than to give space, which sounds terrible, but I just cannot handle the uncertainty.

I deplore myself for being like this, because without him I was strong, independent and didn't need anybody else. Now I feel like I am crazy, and yet, when things are good, such as when we are in person, they are really good. I question things a lot because part of me wonders if we would even last in the long term - there are certain issues even on top of this that make long term (marriage etc.) quite unlikely, but it's still so difficult to leave because I still have feelings for him. At the same time there is a slim chance we would work out in the long term, and that has been what has kept me here. I have thoughts of trying to find someone else or try my best to stop caring about him so that we can eventually fizzle out. It certainly sounds terrible that I know breaking up could potentially be a good idea but I can't do it since I know I will miss him like crazy. He likes the idea of being (very close with future potential) friends, to ease the pressure while I am stressed due to external circumstances, but I feel that would be no different to being in a relationship, and feel I cannot do that either. This is not to say he doesn't care - I can tell he does not want to lose me and cares about me a lot.

I don't really know what to do. Sorry about the long, disorganized wall of text, I just need some advice, or if anyone has been in a similar situation? I'm currently thinking of taking a break, or at least not talking for a week or so to see if anything changes, though I'm sure he'd find that very easy, and I would find it an enormous and painful challenge.

I am wondering perhaps love simply isn't enough in this case?