thank you guys so much for responding... i make most of the money, which isn't saying much given we live at his parents when we are in the uk, but i can't have an apartment here and in america, i don't make that much... the money from the job he works he uses to pay off his bills and loans and such, and then we are supposed to live off of mine which is fine... but as horrible as this may sound i would have stayed in america had he told me he planned on working this job. In the US i can make more money to save for our future, but he doesn't want me going alone, yet he is refusing to go with me, I have spent the greater part of 3 years here and though he said he wanted to go to America with me, I think he is afraid.
The reason for the honeymoon... We had a wonderful hotel picked out, it was straight out of a dream. But we ended up not going there because his parents demanded (literally) to him that it'd be best if we went along with them.
I told him that even if we had to wait a bit i'd rather wait than go with his parents, i know this sounds so selfish but i sobbed in the car that day. My life has been full of abuse and I've never known a love like I have/had? with him. I didn't care if we stayed in our little apartment and just had our own special, creative romantic "time" - it was the 1 on 1 time I wanted, the romance he promised.
But his parents were going to visit some places and told my husband we needed to go along with them. My husband has a very hard time standing up to his parents which makes living here even harder even though we do get along.
I know he must work but he quit a "normal" hour job which I could cope with (it is beyond lonely living here when he is gone, TBH it is getting lonely when he is here) for a job he swore to me long ago he'd never take because of the hours. But, once again, his mother pushed him to go for the job and he never even discussed it with me.
I hope I don't sound selfish, I just am feeling very scared, a bit heartbroken and so very lonely. Please don't be too harsh, sorry if that is selfish of me to ask...
Thank you both again for your kindness, I appreciate it so much *hugs to you both*