If you are experiencing panic attacks, please....deep breaths, calming exercises, get off the board and have some personal time to get yourself together. I know how scary those can be.

First and foremost Lizzie, I sympathize with your experience. Obviously I'm sorry for whatever lead you to this course of action, obviously you had a lot of pain to deal with, and no one jumps into an affair...lightly, no less one in which the person you're supposed to be getting help from, is your seducer.

However....it does take two to tango. Nicole says you "did nothing wrong." While I feel for your pain, that is not true, and you SHOULD examine beyond desire, the need to feel wanted and needed and desired, what really lead you into this affair. Things, don't just "happen."

Now before I say one word about that, where I agree with every single person on this board, is that your therapist should be taken to task with everything that could be thrown at him, he should lose his license, if there are legal actions that can be taken against this predator, the entire book should be thrown at him. This man intercepted when you were at your weakest.

But I think you need to do a lot of self examination as well. I feel empathy towards you, having a partner who is unable to perform because of physical reasons, is a very difficult thing to deal with, but instead of going to your partner and attempting to find common ground, you did in fact CHOOSE to engage in a three year affair with your therapist. No one, from what you're writing about here, put a GUN to your head, you were not co-erced into this relationship, you willingly went there, and that is going to require self reflection, not to mention, you will need someone REAL to speak to, as you now have an additional problem to add to whatever you were in therapy for, this being infidelity, and from what I can gather, therapist or no therapist, you engaged in an affair for the very same reasons most people engage in affairs, that being, their relationships are forcing them to seek what they do not have elsewhere. It could be EASY to blame the majority on this upon a therapist who chose to pounce when you were weak, and believe me, this IS something he did, and he should be removed of his ability to practice. However, you DID accept and receive his affections willingly and for 3 years at that. We're talking about a long term affair. Those don't happen just because....

I read that you've already discussed this with your significant other, and that he's forgiven you, is frankly amazing and miraculous, but I hope you were frank about the the entirety of the situation and didn't blame it ALL on your THERAPIST because aside from it being untrue, it's not going to help you heal in the long run and solve the issues that caused the infidelity in your marriage. Living with a lie will hurt EVERYONE involved, MOST OF ALL YOU.

I wish you healing and hope.