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Right as rain. I never understood that saying until recently. No one (except a truly depressed person like me) actually likes the rain. It's cold, wet, and ruins a good hair-day. But it is a necessary "evil." Without a little gloom, there is no growth (or rainbows if you want to get Hallmark about it).
I know the feeling that you are talking about. It is be healthy, and even, productive to review your mistakes and regrets… but not when your brain gets stuck on a loop. It would be different if you were in the moment, or had the ability to effect/right the outcome. You can feel the difference. It feels like a punch to the gut, your breath catches, and you actually flinch when you are just remembering it. Obsessing over something that you can no longer change is fruitless.
Mistakes are how we learn. It is healthy to remember them, and even, to feel guilty over them. Your conscience is what makes you human. But don’t get stuck in the loop.
If you can change or effect the outcome from a certain incident, then yes, think on it, but try to do it objectively. Try to picture some one close to you telling you about it, like a sister or friend. What advice would you give them? Would you condemn them to feel like sh** forever over it?
If there is nothing you can do, then you have to try to forgive yourself. Human is synonymous with fallible. Mistakes = lessons. Learn them and try not to rinse and repeat.
Mistakes (or the sum of your experiences) make us who we are.
Therefore, there is no moving past them or leaving them behind.
But there is moving FOREWORD. Take your mistakes with you in a way that is not a weakness, but is a strength. You have learned now and will not repeat them. Just breathe through it, and focus on something you can feel proud of… like living through it.
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