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Old Feb 25, 2007, 02:27 PM
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Merlin Merlin is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,316
I don't know whether my pdoc has broken boundaries on not, but I have found his help invaluable. He was a classmate of my mothers, but they were never friends; I don't think that would count as a dual relationship.

The first time I met my pdoc was a week after ODing on Tylenol, so it was an awkward meeting. I guess he felt I was alright, because he scheduled our next appointment for the next month. He had recommended meds, but at that time I refused them. About 3 weeks later, I ran away from home (I was 19 at the time, so I could leave without my parents consent.) However, I was rather suicidal at the time, and have communicated my intent to jump, though I didn't specify where. He was in contact with my parents at the time and supportive. He gave them his home number. I think that was an okay boundary crossing though; my parents needed support.

Later, we were talking about how my perspective was limited, due to my age and my experiences, and that he would like to sit down with me thirty year from then and see how my perspective had changed. I said that I hoped it wouldn't be in the therapy context and he said he would hope so too. It was flattering that he would want that. He said I reminded him of what he was like at my age.

Another time he told me that his friend and colleague has committed suicide and he'd just come back from delivering a eulogy. He talked about how difficult it had been loosing a friend, and how it would devastate the doctor's family even more. He really let me see how he felt. I think he wanted to show how much suicide affect those around the person, that it creates a stain on the community. I not sure how much that got through to me, but that he was feeling to show so much of himself deepened our relationship. He also told me he worried about me. It pissed me off, I didn't want more people to worry about me.

Wow! That's alot. Although they were boundary crossings, I don't think they were violations. I think the deepened the therapeutic relationship. Though I think I felt some connection with him the first time I met him.

DM
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.