I think maybe I would benefit from seeing a T. Problem is I don't want to spend the money on it for one thing but the big problem is that I would feel embarrassed. I wouldn't want anyone to know including my wife because it's best if I just hide my feelings from everyone and pretend I'm ok. I don't want pity. I don't know what I want. Maybe just to ignore it all and go on with life. I know most people want to be happy but I really don't care ... I'm convinced that I never will be happy and to try is futile. I feel like I am drifting through this purposeless existence and I don't know why I bother. I get up each day work and do what is expected of me with no hope or desire to be happy.

~Sent from Dark Side of the Moon~