I woke up this morning feeling really numb. I could hardly tell that I was alive. I SI'd in the shower just to see that I'm still living. I definitely am. After lunch I took the dog out because she was bouncing off the walls (not literally - she was just hyper). A simple walk turned into a two and a half hour walk. We ended up seeing some breathtaking sights and for a little while I forgot everything bad in my life. I even smiled. But then on my way back home, I was snapped back into reality. Now I'm just tired and full of self hate.