Again me..
well as some of you might remember, my life was literary destroyed this October. I was with this man for over 4 years. Our relationship were very serious, we lived together, we had our own "family", we were planning to get married and told our families about it, I loved him more than anything else in this world. I still do. I truly believed and felt like he feels the same way.
We had a problem, this problem was his drug addiction to methadone (he was on methadone program for over 5 years in Ireland) we thought that since we are planning to move to Dubai next year, it would be a good idea to ask his parents for help and get him into rehab. His dad arranged it. He had to leave me in august to go to Iran for rehab with his dad. Every day we talked, messaged, he was saying he is missing me and that all this is good for us and our future family, he stayed in rehab for 2 weeks, then he went for a short holiday to Dubai where his dad took him to a psychotherapist..
long story short - after about 2 week spent in Dubai, he called me and out of the blue told me "Listen, I am a different man now, sorry I can't do this, I don't love you. I need to do my own thing for a while and coming back to Ireland isn't the best idea for me. I don't want a family together, I don't want to regret this in a few years". All he did was this one phone call, after so many years, after everything we went through, even the call lasted less than 4 minutes because he "had to go". He told me it was all mistake and I should never trust a drug addict.
I was left in our apartment and had to move out and send to his mother his documents because he wouldn't even talk to me about this, where to send it, how to send it, all this I had to ask his mother.
He blocked me everywhere and ignored me, almost every day I was texting him using my second facebook account, few times he told me "i need to do my own thing, our life as we knew it is over". But then he just stopped answering at all and he blocked all my accounts from which I tried to contact him.
Few months later, after one of my friends told him that I am taking this break up quiet hard he replied to me saying "sorry I know I shouldn't have done it this way, but I need to do my own thing". We tried to be friends but after only one day talking he started ignoring me again.

So here I am, at least once a week I am texting him, almost crying for help, looking for answers about our past, I am telling him that I accept his decision but I don't understand why he had to do it THIS way, I am asking him how could he possibly hurt me this way after everything that we promised to each other. All I am asking is for him to talk to me, in a respectful way. He blocks me or ignores me. I know he is having a good life now but I am so hurt and I realize that what I do is sick. He has hurt me so much and I keep knocking on closed doors because I simply can not believe to what happened and I can not believe that he was the one who did this and did it like THAT and why can't he handle it in a different way, why does he think that it is ok to be blocking me??? a woman he claimed he loved so much, wanted to marry, I was always supporting him. I still text him, trying to make him my friend, telling him that we don't need to talk about past, let's at least talk about anything, I don't want to lose him completely. I know I must look desperate but my whole universe was shattered in one day, it has been 5 months and this situation is still my present horror when for him it is clearly not. I need help. I have been seeing a therapist for over 2 months, she would help me but only for short periods. I need some advice, more advice, help because I am so close to just destroy my life and give up and do something bad, this love is killing me.