Feeling like laughing and moking about my own life. Maybe I'm going to bed right now...don't know a thing and I don't care. Just tired, feeling totaly unreal. Mind blank one more time as usual. Tomorrow will be way worst than this days I will crash on reality.
Had a conversation with my father in the car, he likes so much to blame "anxiety" on womb experiences...like anxious mothers...children get it before they already born...it seems like he had read that in diferent places. It's easy to blame other things than our own. I fight back, told him that "genes" and life experiences can shape us much more than that. The more I dig the more I find people in my close family dealing with mental disorders...Perhaps I have no choice beside than living like this.
He made me live my young life measuring all the steps in order to not fall in the hiden hole...guess that parenting based on fear have some thing to say and fighting back emotions has something to say to. Maybe more than all genetic predesposition and enviremental experience of someone else's anxiety.