I would stay away from all forms of caffeine. That includes decaf coffee, tea, decaf tea, sodas - both clear and dark, even sports drinks, boosting water, chocolate and a few other unsuspecting items.

If it's hurting your system, and causing you upset emotionally, why would you love it? I think you could work on this thought, and change your "want to" about it all??? It would be a good thing! TC!