I just don't know how to feel right now. I have this really great boyfriend, he loves me so so much. I am diagnosed with bipolar 2 & he knows about it and what's to do nothing but help me and be with me. It's tough to be in a relationship while being BP. He just wants to love me and be cuddly and I feel like it's too much sometimes. I seem to just want to push him away and idk why. It makes me sad & question everything (like if I even love him like I should). I feel like any woman would love to have a man like him and that I should be grateful and happy.
Ugh, I dont what my problem is. I kind of feel like I can't love him like he deserves be loved and that upsets me. He is so good to me.
We broke up twice and each time he said that he had this gut wrenching pain b/c we weren't together. I didn't feel that way. Is that wrong? I feel like if I really love him, I should feel different than I do...
I get really frustrated with him because I think he's a bit childish when it comes to certain things. And that is part of the problem. I feel like he's too clingy sometimes, I expressed that to him & he told me that that was '******'. When I don't hold him or rub his head, or give him a good enough kiss (when im crabby) he kind of whines about it & its really annoying to me & makes me not want to be affectionate even more.
Sorry about rambling, I just don't know what to do or how to feel. I feel like a terrible person right now. :-(

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