Merlin, why do you feel you can't ask your T for help with this? Are you worried he/she will not think it is a worthy problem for therapy? I know it can be scary to ask for what we want and need, both in real life and in therapy. Please, go ahead and give your T a chance to respond to your request. I think there is a good chance he/she will be very willing to work with you on that issue.

I really related to what you said about being more optimistic or better in therapy than outside. I am the same. I often feel really elated to be in therapy with my T. I think it is the power of the bond between us. It makes me feel so good. He said one time he worried I was not grieving for something appropriately because of his presence. I saw some truth in that and made sure to go home and allow myself to grieve outside of the session. My T says that the bulk of work in therapy actually occurs outside of the therapy sessions.