Thank you Topiarysurvivor.
I've taken a quick look at the book you suggested and I will get myself a copy. Sounds interesting and could be helpful in understanding and dealing with the emotions that im going through.

I've also read through the story that was posted on the link you suggest i read. There were a few things that i definitely can relate with and i totally get what the person is going through.

Statements such as: " I felt so completely loyal to him that I never considered betraying his trust. I was incredibly grateful to him for allowing me to have this “gift,” I could never do anything to hurt him. I literally prayed that no one would be harmed as a result of our involvement, and that if harm were to come to anyone, it should come to me. Since I believed he was doing this for my benefit, I thought I should be the one to bear any burdens."

In this this next statement Im trying to work out if this is that what i did? What exactly is "dissociating"?

"After any sexual contact, I usually felt spaced out and “floaty.” At the time, I simply thought I was “blissed out” on our lovemaking. It never occurred to me I might be dissociating. My out-of-body state masked any feelings of pain, discomfort, or distress so that everything looked perfectly rosy.

My current therapist reassures me that I am not to blame for what happened but he's not dealing with the feelings and the emotions that im going through. After my appointments with him I feel as though I haven't gained anything in dealing with my emotions. If anything i feel as though im banging my head against a brick wall and wasting his time. I feel resentful and angry because he simply dosn't understand the feelings and emotions that im experiencing. His answer for dealing with my feelings is to prescribe me yet another drug of which i simply toss the script into the bin.

My current therapist is a "psychiatrist" and not a "psychotherapist". My former therapist was a psychotherapist .
The approach of Psychoanalysis and Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy is that the source of much of what people think, feel, experience and fear is hidden or unconscious. These unconscious processes can maintain people’s internal suffering, the impact of trauma, crippling emotional difficulties and unsatisfactory relationships within their social and cultural contexts. The therapeutic relationship is the foundation for this method and requires commitment and responsibility from both the psychotherapist and patient/client. The aim is to work together to make sense of patients’ emotional life and ways of functioning. The work makes links between present and past as well as emphasising the patients’ here-and-now experience. Exploration of the conscious and unconscious aspects of the therapeutic relationship (also known as transference and countertransference) makes this work different from other therapies or from talking to a friend.

Hence my former therapist was able to delve into my head and knew exactly what made me tick and also exactly how to manipulate me.