Ok, this might be long. I've got a lot to say.

I'm happy with my bf. I feel SO good when I look at him. I swear we are perfect for each other.....most of the time.

I have BPD (obviously, that's why I'm here) and other issues. I feel like I need SO much reassurance and love. I'm overly emotional. Problems with abandonment. Ect, ect. He is Bipolar. And he's all "logical thinking only" and doesn't believe in feelings and emotions. Perfect combo right?!

So when I get hurt by something (I'm BPD so that's about....hmmm....45 times a day >__<) I get over emotional. He DOES NOT understand this. A lot of time it's HIM that causes it...
He will say something like, let's see, yesterday I woke up from a nightmare to find he had left the bed and was watching something on Youtube that we always watch TOGETHER and I got really upset. I told him I wanted him to cuddle me. After like 2 mins he said "Well, I wanted to get stuff done today, but no I have to cuddle you all day." AND HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I FLING HIM OFF AND GET UPSET. This will happen all the time.

Over the last few months I've been struggling with really bad depression, and only about three weeks ago tried to take my life. I was in a psych ward for a week before I got to go home. And for about a week everything with my bf was GREAT. I felt so much better and we were communicating so much better. Then one day I LITERALLY just woke up depressed again, with my BPD symptoms worse than they have been in about a year. My bf noticed right away and I tried my best to pull myself back up. But it's been SO hard on me.

Oh, I also forgot to mention, me and my bf have another roommate....a girl who is in LOVE with him and wants to be with him. -__- That's GREAT to add to the mix.

In these last few days I have been SOOOO irritable. I'm just so crabby the second I wake up until I fall asleep. I feel like this is from the stress of everything I just stated. How do I stop this irritability?!

So me and my bf have been fighting several times a day and I don't know what to do. I bottle up everything until I burst and my bf will not listen to anything I say. He thinks he has the answers to EVERYTHING and I hate it! I don't know how to get him to understand my emotions. Or how to get him to understand what having BPD does to people. We don't think the same as everyone else. Neither does he. But each fight gets worse and worse....this NEEDS to stop. When he left for work today he told me he's done "playing games". I don't play games....he just doesn't understand how I think or function. How do I get him to see? Anyone have any ideas?

I'm starting to feel the way I was feeling the night I attempted suicide
**I promise I'm not going to do it, and now I'm in counseling and such. I just feel the same level of icky**

I don't want to ruin this relationship....But can two people who think and communicate SO differently last??