hi, Im sorry that you are having to deal with all these things. Just try to take it one step at a time. It's not your fault and do not worry about those people that talk about you. Thats their problem if they wanna talk. They dont know what your going through. Ignore them. Even if you cannot talk to anyone else, you can always come here to this website and there are many people willing to help you out and just be here for you to express your feelings to.