I just had my last session with my T and will never see her again
I had a plan for our last session together:
1. Go in there and talk about social services calling
2. Roll up my sleeves to show her my scars and talk to her about them and the voices that made me do it
3. Give her the card and painting
4. Ask her to listen to me singing a song that relates to me and how I feel
5. Let the words flow out of my mouth about how I feel about ending and the abandonment that is brought back from my mum and dad, and how I wanted to turn back time and change it but when I got the chance I didn't, and how I don't want therapy to be just another bad memory
6. Ask for a hug
7. Say thank you over and over again hoping she'll get the message
(not in that order)
What I did:
1. SI'd before the session
2. Had no tissue so had to leave my sleeves rolled up and get a tissue in her room.
3. Talked for 10 minutes about social services (couldn't really get a word in edgeways)
4. Gave her the card and painting right at the end of the session
5. Didn't ask her to listen to me singing
6. Didn't ask for a hug
7. Didn't talk about any of the things I wanted her to know - instead, I had to do a worksheet
on a plan for when I feel sui
So all in all, it went okay, but it could have gone a million times better.
I walked out of there and didn't cry for once, because I think it was a nice end, but it could've been better. I'm happy with how it went, because I got a little bit of closure and I didn't completely break down at the end of it
What I would like to do now is send her a letter in the post (definitely NOT email) just saying thank you again, and just briefly outlining how I think the session went. Inevitably, there wasn't enough time for me to get full closure out of that session, but I feel I will when I send her the letter, just to let her know. I am not expecting anything to come out of her from her side i.e. I'm not expecting a reply or an offer for another session. But I just feel if I get it out in the open, then I will be fine after that, and I can get on with my life and not regret therapy.
What do you think? What is your opinions on what I've written? What would you do in my situation?
Thank you