Today I feel like doing absolutely nothing. My depression is really bad. I have an appointment with my T but don't even feel like attending. The whole weekend was bad for me. How could things have gotten this way? Nothing really changed except my weekend sucked (except for dinner Friday night) and I had a very hard time feeling un-depressed. When will this end? I'm having a very hard time dealing with these feelings of depression and utter discontent. I hate it when I don't even want to TRY to feel better. It's as though I've given up the chance of feeling better before even trying. I think that's because the past two days have been horrible, for the most part. I need some serious help. Medication, better therapy, something.

Will getting a job help? Sometimes (like today) I feel like that wouldn't even help. It would just be a different way of passing the time, fighting to appear as though I'm a happy, well-adjusted person. F**** everything today.