Not a very good day to be in. But I wasn't there. It was really a crappy day thinking backwards. But I just did what I have to do. Sign my presence even I wasn't there. I hope this get better with good amount of sleep. I guess I feel worst when I am alone. Sometimes my depression doesn't seems like anything I would, I just am this way because I am this way. I will try to watch the videotapes from the time I was a baby. I know I just wasn't normal that time, and its hard to find a consistent explanation to that. I think I should write down some concerns to remember to ask my doctor. It was a traveling soul day. I don't like to go through a bunch of thoughts, with diferent ways of feeling. In the morning I was insconciently nervous, I felt I would fall because my legs didn't had enough strength to carry my "weight" and my jaws were shaking badly. Guess I wanted to desapear too. Them I start feeling a pain on my all body and thought I wouldn't even have lunch. After my brother getting home I just got empty enough to go through the motions. I went to college an half an hour earlier, just had to sit like an autistic one in some benches and stayed there. People were just passing, but that was a women that gave me a big look, guess I was looking weird there. More boring classes I'm trying to get some sleep right now. Tired of not existing. Maybe three, four classmates asked I did in my exam. I said to one of. Them I wasn't there, with a smile on my face. She thought I was jocking. I'm annoyed of being wig me.