atomic,
sorry you feel this way....waiting is a very hard thing for us to do....you do have lots of talents. BPD makes it hard for us to enjoy or like the things we do...we become so critical of us all the time. I wish I could wave a wand and make it go away.... but I do agree you need to find a way to make it through...maybe an online class....or volunteer at a school for a bit!!! I read to little kids...it helps.....and the kids are just so cool...it helps me...hope you find a way out of this....you are so smart and talented...I just know you will!!!! take care now girl!!!