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01:35 PM

Hi, I attend an excellent weekly support group hosted by NAMI. The group is for anyone who has been diagnosed with a mental illness and wants support from peers. I've been attending the group for about 3 months regularly (never missed a group). A few weeks ago, the facilitator informed the group that NAMI is looking for people to volunteer as facilitators. Anyone who volunteers for the position would take a week-end course on how to facilitate the group.

I've thought it over for a few weeks. I'm a natural leader-type person, have good social skills, and I already have experience working with at-risk teens ( a job I loved). A week ago I decided to message the facilitator on Facebook & ask him to put my name on the list for facilitator training.

Now. Here's the thing. I am 51 years of age, look younger - but I am a very responsible and dependable person. I have many very artistically rendered tattoos, long dreadlocks, a double nostril piercing, and tend to dress creatively (though certainly not outlandishly and definitely not in any way provocatively). I live in northern California, so I'm certainly not alone in my creative appearance. Still, I am in a minority.

Last night after the group I asked the facilitator about the status of the upcoming training. He's usually very friendly to me. When I inquired about the training, however, he was standoffish and vague...said something like, "Uh, yeah...your name's on the list. Someone will call you at some point..." But NAMI has been basically begging people to become facilitators, because there's a shortage.

Do you ever have a crystal-clear intuition, it's almost like you can see the words a person is thinking over their head? Well, I had that type of intuition last night. I was 99.9% positive that the facilitator isn't wild about me becoming a group facilitator because of my appearance. I tried hard not to take his response personally, because it's not something I'm not used to - although most people have only positive comments on my creative appearance. (My job is working in a funky old cafe, so my appearance is of benefit there.)

HERE is my question: I want to message the facilitator and tell him that I strongly suspect he's not comfortable with me being a facilitator because of my "colorful" appearance, and that I understand where he's coming from. I hate having this "thing" hanging in the air between us...I feel awkward about being in the group having the issue hidden under a carpet (so to speak). NOW: What is your opinion on this? If you were in my shoes, would you message the facilitator and bring the issue out into the open or would you let it remain kind of...festering (which is what it feels like it's doing to me)?
~Thank you for your input~ ~Sister Rags~