thank you so much for your reply it helps knowing someone else would feel the same way.... and, i think you are so right, i have sat down and talked to him and we came up with little ideas and such that we can do together... but the problem is his work is so unpredictable. out of no where they can call him and say they need him, then he is gone for 12+ hrs a day, for x amount of days.

i had begun managing to cope with it a bit... but then he came home today and said this weekend he will be going to manchester overnight, then heading straight to london to work overnight, again.

had i known he was going to take this job that he swore he wouldn't take due to the hours, i would have stayed in the US. i know no one here, and though his family is nice,... my mom needs me. i don't know if it's the BPD haunting me but i have the strongest urge just to run; leave before i am left or hurt...

sorry, i don't expect you to reply if you dont want to, i am just a bit distraught as i really don't know how i am going to handle this... i know i must seem like a horrible person, i don't mind him working but these hours are insane, and the unpredictability is terrifying...

thank you so much for reaching out to me... i needed that, i appreciate it so much. i hope you are well <3