Hi LifeIsCruel, Well I'm glad you've knocked #1 and #2 off the table (will come back to #3) now you've given yourself an excellent start to some real self esteem
If you're basing your self esteem on appearances there will always be insecurities there for everyone. There can be SO many more meaningful things about a person than the way they look. In fact if you've you've got things of real value going on then appearance is going to mean so little anyway. Now maybe look at yourself differently, I'm sure there's things you've done or things about you that you CAN feel good about, or allow yourself to feel good about!!
Now some of the qualities I'm thinking about can be things as simple as honesty, integrity, throw in focus/discipline if you like too based on your working out, sensitivity..............
Perhaps have a think about some of the (not appearance based!!) things you value in those close to you/things important to you in them to give you an idea of where I'm coming from.
Now things like that, and you WILL have things like that (and your more meaningful life experiences) are YOU, inside you, which is where self esteem should be initially coming from. And you know, people who really matter are going to recognise that if you let it show. And those have to be the kind of people you really want in your life or to recognise you.
AND back to #3 You really want someone like that in your life??? However you looked, would you still really........???? Perhaps be a bit more choosey, eh??? THEN you'll be away!!!
Best wishes
Here if you want to talk more.............
Alison