What he did was to threaten you. Even though he didn't actually hit you, he was threatening to. That is not okay. It is not normal for males to threaten females, like that. You would have a right to expect him to sit down and chew this incident over with you right down to the bone.

When the two of you do that, he should not get away with the notion that threats don't count. He may well say, "I would hurt myself, before I would ever hurt you." That's no good. He owes you a humble and abject apology. If you don't demand that of him, then he will take it that he can go that far . . . and he will again.

I've been down this road with a male sibling. I didn't make a big deal out of a threat, thinking that I didn't want to sour things between us. That was a mistake. Men who have a tendency toward violence need to confront a zero tolerance attitude from the folks around them.