I was laid off from my job on February 7, the third layoff since 2007, and by the grace of God, a wonderful temp job came out of nowhere and I was chosen for it after two interviews one week later. I was ecstatic last Friday and over the weekend, but today I have been freaking out and sobbing much of the day; not entirely sure why, feeling overwhelmed that the job starts Wednesday and I feel like I have so much to do beforehand. I am very content being home and don't really want to leave its safety, but without a job I won't have a home. I have so many "corporate scars" that haven't healed, bullying bosses, the injustice and panic and pain of being laid off repeatedly, being betrayed by coworkers, and the evil corporate world in general...it feels like I'm walking right back into just one more painful experience. And admittedly I do wish I could have a little more time at home on unemployment, but the job market is crap and I am over 50, not to mention that when opportunity knocks one better take advantage of it. I'm terrified a depressive episode is coming on and the timing couldn't be worse. Why can't I just be happy and look forward to a new experience? Why do I anticipate the worst in people and situations? Why can't I be normal?? I'm so tired of being a depressive freak.