I think you can change. And I believe even-though in the past and w/ current boyfriend, you can change all judgements against them and yourself.

Mindfulness therapy works wonders with people with ptsd. People with ptsd are always in flight or flight response. And because we feel shame, guilt and inadequate.
Doing mindfulness therapy and cbt therapy can really help. Staying away from drugs and alcohol are tremendous helps as well.

Isn't it said we are afraid of violence or threats against us, but in doing so. And in trying to keep ourselves in control. We get scared, feel slighted and we end up being violent. It is a ****** cycle. It feels bad. But you can get through it.

You don't deserve what has happened to you, but you can learn to walk away from abuse, if yourself, and a violent reaction towards others.

I wish you wellness.
K.

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