Went to the pdoc today. He said NOT to just ignore them. That ignoring them is a surefire way to make the thoughts worse... It is probably why I have got so obsessed to the point of being this upset by them, because I was trying so desperately to ignore them for so long.

He wants to start me on a new med. I am seeing my other pdoc/T in a few days and will discuss therapy options with her. Im really not keen to change meds but there doesnt seem to be much else I can do. I am holding out hope for the pdoc/T to have an easy therapy solution, but after so many years struggling with this I doubt it will be anything easy or effective quick enough for me to be functioning in time for work.

Tonight is going to be another night of searching for therapy options online to treat this, but every other time I have done that I've come up with nothing useful. At least I know now for sure that it definitely is OCD and is not a bipolar mood fluctuation.