Quote:
Originally Posted by tametc
Keep posting. We're here for you. 
P.S. Have you thought about telling your current therapist that you need more help from him in dealing with your emotions about this? If you aren't easily able to switch therapists, it might be productive to let this one know what you need more of. |
Thank you tametc,
I had an appointment to see my therapist today and explained exactly how i feel. I think he understands what im feeling. In hindsight I think I expected much more from him than is appropriate to expect from a therapist. I compared him to my former therapist and felt that he wasn't meeting my needs. By my needs I dont mean that i expected sex from him. Just the thought of becoming intimate with anyone now fills me with repulsion and fear.
My former therapist in many ways treated me like a child. He used to think for me, he used to solve my problems, he made me feel safe and protected from the real world. Unknowingly I became increasingly dependent upon him. If he wasn't able to see me I would panic and and stress about how i was going to cope without him. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
I was his patient for 20 years and during those 20 years emotionally I stopped growing. Emotionally I'm 20 years younger than my true biological age. I now realise that I need to take responsible for my own life and that no one else can do it for me.
Thank you for listening x