Thank you for your suggestions!! I am going to be looking into all of them ...except the volleyball. I'm so short, I consider myself almost-midget (sorry from my disposition and a love of Stephen King from a young age and I have a morbid sense of humor. Proceed reading with caution).

Yesterday... good and bad things happened, but I am AMAZED that overall it was really, really GOOOD. I was... dare I say... excited, a little motivated, and even a little happy. God, it was SCARY. I think this site (YOU PEOPLE) actually helped me. I'm scared that it was a fluke or that I'll jinx it if I talk about it out loud. (I, also, can't tell my family or they will expect that I can do it again. I don't want to get their hopes up.. or mine.)

I hope you don't mind if I blurt about it... cause I'm about to. (Why is it green? sick but still smiling?) Feel free to stop reading here if you don't care about the details.

I got almost 5 hours of sleep!! Which meant I woke up at 2:30 AM. I am NOT a morning person. Catch me before my second cup of coffee and it's kind of frightening. I stayed in bed and read for 3 hours.

I made coffee, took care of the woodstove and my dog, shoveled snow and inflated my Jeep's tire. I ACTUALLY went outside when I, technically, didn't HAVE to. Now, I am not a materialistic person, in any sense of the word, but I have an emotional attachment to my Jeep. Yes, I know how crazy that sounds, but it is what it is. It was the first thing that I ever worked for, paid for all by myself. It's a beastly POS. I love it. I have had it for 11 years now, and I refuse to consider any other car until it is beyond dead. So color me PISSED when not only my tire needs inflating, but there has been a MOUSE living in it!! I can't find where it is, but now my beloved smells like animal piss. Deep breathing... and..

I do a load of laundry. Made myself some breakfast, and gave myself a pep-talk that I was going to leave my house! I decided I needed to go to 4 different locations to get my errands done. While I am "bucking up," I visit this forum and made a new thread and answer some others. Yay motivation!

It takes me a little over 1 and 1/2 hours to get ready. I'm complusive about getting ready to leave the house (long shower, make up, outfit, etc.). LOL I probably only left the house for 2 1/2 hours and about 1 hour was driving back and forth... gotta love living in the woods.

I only go to 2 out of 4 places that I INTENDED to go. Grocery shopping and.. splurging for my birthday (which is tomorrow, but it's a dark day for me so I took advantage of the opportunity of being motivated) on take-out that I have been craving for MONTHS. So, while I was waiting for my food order, I made myself walk around to 2 other stores. While I was out I didn't exactly make friends, but I faked the confidence thing with my chin held high so I didn't seem like the timid mouse I felt like (my poor Jeep ).

I got home, unloaded the groceries, took care of my dog and the woodstove, did a load of dishes, ate my WEIGHT in Thai food and watched the new epidsode of The Walking Dead (love, love, love that show). Did a quick response or two on this forum and went to bed.

I felt so accomplished even though I didn't really get all that much done. But the point is, I FELT optimistic. SCARY. Feeling even a little happy this time of year, this WEEK of the year (my birthday), is ...a phenomenon.

Unfortunately, this makes me nervous... almost desperate to keep it going. But today, I am tired. And I keep telling myself that that is okay. If I don't leave the house today, it doesn't mean that I'm giving up... I'm just giving in a little. The winter storm warning is a good excuse for it to be okay...

So today... I might cook something special from the groceries I picked up yesterday even if I don't have an appetite, read something old, give my dog a bath, and I will search online for all of the suggestions that will give me social options and find out what works for me.

So again, THANK YOU. Thank you for reading and responding. It really has helped me, even it only helped me for one or two days. These days have NEVER even had the CHANCE to be "good ones" for me before.