Quote:
Originally Posted by lightinthesky
For those who don't know, it is about me and my ex, me texting him trying to find answers and closure even tho it has been 5 months since he broke up with me, he has blocked me many times for facebook (the only website where I would contact him). As I mentioned he did answered to me few times and tried to be my friend but it didn't work and he would start ignoring me all over again, I agree to admit that my behavior is a little obsessive and I don't want to be that kind of a person. I am only 21 and many people around me keep telling me that my whole life is ahead of me, but I don't see a bright future. He broke my heart and it is very hard to get up and walk again, I hate myself for making him have to hide from and block me, I didn't mean to hurt him or be annoying but this relationship meant everything to me and I couldn't let go just like that.
Is there anything I can do to make up for my behavior? What do I do now? He must hate me and no matter how beautiful our relationship used to be, he will never respect me, although I don't have many reasons to respect him either after what he has done. I don't know..
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"a little obsessive" - to be honest I'm only saying this to help you, it is more than a little obsessive. 5 months after a break up you should be moving on. If he hasn't given you "closure" however you're expecting it, you're not going to get it. The fact that he's blocked you multiple times on fb says to me that you're looking for him to fix your problem and not thinking at all about him and the space you should be giving him. Continually trying to contact an ex that has clearly moved on is not doing anything for you or for him at all. For you, it's only continuing to exacerbate the wounds that were inflicted initially. He left you and you feel rejected. To continue and try to get him to respond to you in any way is just setting yourself up for continued and repeated rejection which in the end is going to leave you wounded more and bleeding on the side of the road.
I don't have advice as to what you can do to make up for the behavior. I wouldn't worry about that at all. Move on, and take care of YOU. If you don't have a therapist, please, get one, you need someone to get your head straight about this situation and get back on your feet. The relationship is gone and over.
Again I dont' say this to be cruel, but to be honest. You have to come to terms with what you're dealing with or you'll forever be stuck in hurt, victimized mode.