I think in your case yearning, that was all childhood yearnings, that is a very natural way for a kid to think, especially when they've been taught that their needs shouldn't exist. You've explained it very well, what your thinking was, the needs behind it etc. You learned from the experiences that it isn't realistic and you're now teaching yourself how to get you needs met in a healthy way.

Some people never learn that, and stay in that childlike place/fantasy into adulthood and i think that's when it becomes a bit obnoxious. (my word, my view of it, not everyone's) i think it's that refusal to grow, that total blindness of how their actions affects others, that complete disregard of the emotional roller-coaster they send people on that makes it very difficult to deal with.
Everyone would rather not grow-up, everyone has a child-like part in them that just wishes someone else could take care of everything, that in itself isn't unusual but when people force others to look after them by creating dramatic situations that a responsible person can't ignore, then the other person can feel very manipulated and resentful. They feel resentful that they are being made into something they don't want to be ie sole friend, sole parent, sole rescuer, they are put into a role they never asked for and eventually they get compassion fatigue and i think that's why people who create very dramatic situations constantly end up being "abandoned". Because the person they were using just caves in and can't do it anymore. It really quite sad actually.