Peaches... obviously this touched a nerve for you. I wasn't being judgemental. I don't see calling someone's behaviour manipulative or passive aggressive as a judgement, just a fact. There are some behaviours that ARE passive aggressive and there are some behaviours that are either consciously manipulative ie a person knows they are doing something to illicit a response in another or unconsciously manipulative ie they are unaware that the way they are acting is forcing another person to act in a certain way.

I know there is reasons behind why people do it, i also said that those people need help with it and deserve help with it. But just as those people need support and understanding, i think it's fair to say that it's ok for others to admit to hating feeling manipulated, and put in a role they never asked for. I personally hate it because i have a parent who does these things and it has caused me much anguish and it has given me my own mental health issues because of it, i am in therapy because of some of that type behaviour, so it triggers me and i now refuse to be part of it for anyone else. That behaviour kind of triggers a reaction in me which is why online i stay away from it because i have nothing constructive to say.