She's not actually a professor; she's a writing instructor, but we happen to have some very similar interests that most people don't share, ex. queer theory, which she knows way more than me about, which I used to find intimidating but now I just sit enraptured as she tells me that Judith Butler's "Imitation and Gender Insubordination" stemmed from her work with AIDS activism (I did not know this!!!).

And she does think I'm special, which is actually the part that makes me think this might be unhealthy. T doesn't think I'm special (actually, she probably does, but it's not something I think about a lot or put any time or energy into) and I don't particularly care. I feel like it should be that way with everyone, but T says it's normal to want to feel special, and if this instructor thinks I'm special, then good for me and good for her, and it's probably old teacher issues getting in the way.

For example, when I saw her last week, she told me that she goes home and tells her partner about me and her partner says she has a "type" of student she always likes (the kind that always challenges her) and I fit her type. Also, she says I'm really interesting to talk to and have really good ideas. So, I like that. And she told me the other day that if I get married, I would need to find someone who will accept me fully but challenge me gently, which is SO true.

All of this feels to me like the exact same relationship I had with my former teacher who abandoned me...but I am also respecting her boundaries, and I don't expect her to be here forever, so progress?