A friend of mine who I met when she first came in over a year ago, moved to California a couple months ago. She hadn't gotten acclimated to the program there, hadn't reached out, had just isolated......she called her old sponsor (my friend) here last night and said she wanted to drink or die. At 2:30 this morning, my friend here got a text message from this girl that said "I'm in the hospital. My dad called." My friend hadn't heard anything else and sent her a message while we were talking. The reply read, "I'm ok. I took a bunch of pills".

She tried to kill herself. She used the exact same words that I used last week. Drink or die. That's what I wanted. She opted for pills.

Last night I was talking to my friend about watching 'Intervention' and how the last time I watched it, the meth looked appealing.....I never did meth. But I was in such a bad place emotionally that it looked good.

What I learned from this experience today is that I need to add a healthy fear of using to my healthy fear of drinking. Even though I was never a drug addict, I'm just as close to the next drug as I am to the next drink. I need also to add the healthy fear of suicide.

I'm mixed emotionally about this. I took it directly to a meeting, after putting pen to paper. On one hand, I'm so incredibly sad for my friend, and concerned that she may not return to sobriety after this. On the other hand, I am SO GRATEFUL that wasn't me....because I was close.....but my tools kicked in before it was too late.

Thanks for letting me share.

Rayna