your not alone. I know exactly what you mean. I know it's hard to keep yourself from doing that but you have got to relax and concentrate on something else. I don't know how I keep myself from doing it but sometimes im able to cope by doing less harmful activities...i wont give you any ideas cuz they are still bad but they help me. you have to find a system or activity that helps you. go experimenting. maybe gardening is your thing or reading...maybe listen to some relaxing instrumental music? whatever works for you. but you have to find something that you can do at any time whe you feel triggered. im here for you. and your not alone