Or is this just me?

Today was my birthday. I'm not enthusiastic about it, it just makes me feel like a loser, it's a sore point at the minute that I've managed to get to 29 and be such a spectacular mess. I spent the day basically alone, which is fine - I'll be having a night out with some lovely friends at the weekend to celebrate, and I know I will enjoy that - apart from two sessions with my therapist today, a short 45 min and then a two hour appointment this evening.

I fell out with one of my best friends before Christmas, we've just started opening lines of communication now so she sent me a birthday message by text which was lovely of her. My other best friend is travelling in Australia for six weeks, so I'll hear from her next time she's able to get to a computer. Then my other best friend called but I was in session so she left a happy birthday voicemail and I didn't get to speak with her. My birth mother sent a text saying happy birthday and she was thinking of me, and I felt nothing, except vague irritation that she's not respecting my boundaries to leave me alone for a month before us talking again. My real mother is dead. I don't have a partner. So...basically, I was having dinner thinking I'm a bit pathetic at being so alone, really, on a day that other people enjoy and celebrate loving and being loved. Then my therapist replied to my text thanking her for today, and she said "I love you sweetheart" at the end of her text. She doesn't know it's my birthday. Her warmth, and care, and the love she gives and my being able to love her, well it's all really special to me and I feel extremely fortunate, and it was so comforting to get, because I feel at least there's one person out there who has my back and who sees me at my absolute worst and can still cheerfully say they love me, that's beyond amazing...but, at the same time it made me so sad, that by whatever quirks of life, that made me not in communication with my best friends for whatever reason, the only person who wrote those words to me today, was my therapist.

I know my friends love me. I know my sister does even though she didn't say it in her message, and that my brother does, even though he forgot today. As a family we're **** at birthdays. My birth mother loves me in her own particular, frustrating way. Or maybe I'm so desperate for them to love me, that I just see it when it isn't really there. I don't know anymore.

Am I alone in feeling this kind of thing?

Has your therapist ever done something nice, that you really, really appreciate but also unintentionally highlights the lack of love or care everywhere else?

I have all of the sads

Next year would want to be better...