Hi, bazzinga. I see that you're from Michigan -- I am too. Maybe we could talk sometime about that (not that there's much going on here apart from boatloads of snow, right ).

I think many of the others have covered the explanations for feeling like you aren't getting the most help here (I do the same thing in down periods, though, but mostly with family -- until I start rationalizing, "Okay, this person has a baby now, and they're married, and..." and it becomes clearer why they aren't reaching out). So many others are here looking for exactly the same things, and they're unable to either reach out to others...or they're so caught up in their own pain that they can't see anyone else's.

Journaling is great, awesome that you have an open relationship with your parents and that all of you can talk about this. I always try to remind myself, when I'm feeling awful, that it *usually* passes.

My down days can be very down -- I've found that saying to myself, "In 24 hours, you will feel differently," has really helped. I put a mental pause on it and more or less say, "I'm not going to worry or think about this anymore. In 24 hours, I will revisit it and see how I feel then." I'm usually able to think more clearly; even take myself from feeling like a helpless victim to someone who does have the power to change (some) circumstances in her life.

Journaling is always great too -- but along with that, I think it's great to start recording at least a few things that went right in your day, or a few things that you like about yourself. I'm a writer by trade and I do it for fun...I've found that when I'm writing to get all of my feelings out, and usually the negative ones, I find myself so steeped in it that I just can't move forward.

It's why so many journal pages of mine have ended up burnt to a crisp or shredded. I'd read it and felt those emotions again so many times, I couldn't do it again.

I hope you are feeling better today.