I'm glad you were able to write to your husband. I often find it difficult to say anything about my depression asides from the fact that I feel empty and ready to crumple into myself. In fact, I was trying to write a slam poem about depression and literally no words would come out :/

But I'm glad you feel so comfortable here It's awesome! And is there a depression flag? We should make one and I'll hang it in my window or something

And reaching out for help is difficult because I hate asking for help. I didn't want to bother anyone and I didn't realize anything was really wrong with me until I just stopped caring about literally anything and then yeah I was already too far in the rabbit hole to even make grabby hands at the sky. I had to wait for someone to drag me out a bit until I could finally see a bit of sunlight and then moan and groan and make a feeble attempt upward.