I feel like you spend way way wayyyyyyyy too much time making excuses for others at the expense of yourself. You are far too focused on boundaries. Everyone else's boundaries are not your problem, you are not the boundary-keeper. Everyone is responsible for keeping their own boundaries and letting someone know if they've been over-stepped. You don't need to be worrying about it so much.

I've also noticed a lot of black and white thinking in your posts. You say that you couldn't find another T who is both caring with looser boundaries AND who is good with all the other issues you face. That simply isn't true. A truly great therapist can be flexible with contact when needed, and can deal with subject they didn't necessarily train in specifically but can learn about and approach with empathy and understanding anyway.

You do have to respect that your T is short on time now, and she is right in the respect that a session the day after might not be enough time for both of you to process. I know these feelings are uncomfortable to sit with but it's not really an emergency, even if it feels like it. Also she may not want to flood you which can happen in trauma work, she might be trying to pace you.

I feel like you're denying all your own needs a lot of the time and as someone said before not allowing yourself to feel negative emotions about things. You reason it all away.

Your email... i don't know, it feels quite passive aggressive to me, it's a whole bunch of words and reasonings all wrapped up in a polite bow but there's a real undercurrent of anger in it. There's a lot of words in there which could be summed up in about 2 paragraphs; " I AM angry the way you make me feel" " i am angry that i feel unsupported in times of need" " i am angry that you make me feel responsible for your boundaries" " i am angry that i feel shamed just for needing more time." etc.

I challenge you to write a letter how you really feel, using " i am angry" or "it pisses me off" etc, use angry volatile words, express in a childish way if needed exactly how you're feeling, write as if there are no repercussions to being really mean.

Don't send that version tho! Unless you really want to that is. But i think you need to be led by your emotions and stop pretending they don't exist or packaging them into a nice mature little box that is pleasing for others.