|
I'm in a relationship with him for 2 years & 4 months.. We lived in for a year.. but now we live separately.. I am pretty sure I love him and he loves me so much! We never fight too long, we talk things over and everything we'll be back to normal.. My boyfriend is from a broken family, he didn't finish schooling, he doesn't want to find a job, he just rely to his sister who is a doctor in the USA, last but not the least his life is focused on video games..
He said to me he found a job October 2013 and he will start by November and I was so happy for him, believing he is now growing up as a man.
So November is here, he started working! Wow! He is txting me everyday saying 'I'm on my way to work', 'It's my lunch break I have lots of deadlines to finish', I'm on my way home and it's traffic' and so on.. I am really convinced he is working.. But time comes, December 2013 I announced I am pregnant, and his reaction is not good at all. But after a week, he said sorry for his reaction and supported me from that day.. He came with me in my first ob check up and he saw our baby's heartbeat.. He even made me think of our baby's name and we decided to name it after his initials RJ (Ramon Joshua) So we ended up Ram Jayce.. He seems excited after seeing baby's heartbeat..
But when he's not with me.. I noticed he's not txting me as consistent as before.. He doesn't bother If I am waiting till pass 12 midnight just for me to know if he arrived home safe.. When he comes here and visits me, I will cry to him and say I have an instinct he is doing something unusual and he will look me in the eye and say he's not lying and he loves me and baby so much.. There is no way for me to fool you, what for? he said.
But I really have an instinct that there's something wrong..
One night, I am so fed up.. waiting every night for a lame texts.. So I texted his aunt who lives with him as a guardian pass 12 midnight and I asked if he is already home coz I am tired of waiting for him! And I told her I am pregnant.
She replied and I was devastated saying, 'He's not yet home, I don't know what to do with him anymore he doesn't want to study, and he doesn't have a job. He never had a job, he's just at home during the day and will go somewhere at night and will go home pass 12..
I checked his email and some gaming accounts and traced he has been playing Online Video Games while pretending he is working..
After knowing everything, but I didn't give him a hint. i know it already.. When he called me and I asked him.. "Why did you lie to me? How can you do this to me and to my family?"
At first, he was denying it.. until the point I vent out.. saying I loved him as a whole and yet this is all I get? My family and I trusted you!
I started crying..
Then.. when everything I said sync in to him.. He admits that he doesn't have a job.. He did that bcoz he is ashamed of himself.. coz I do all the expenses, and he is shy to my parents..
I sense that he has a problem within himself.. He is full of insecurities.. lowest self esteem.. he questions why he even exist..
and that was the last time we talked..
The next day, he's totally gone.. ran away.. hide..
Nothing.. No txt, no call.. deactivated Facebook..
It's been 2 months now since he ran away..
I know he loves me, but I don't understand whats on his mind..
I accepted him as he is, why does he need to lie for a long time?
Please I need advice, I am so depressed.. I am pregnant, and we never spoke to each other..
I thought giving him time and space will help him, but it seems were getting worse..
Is he ashamed for all the lies? Or he is just running away from the responsibility as a father? or it can be both?
|