1. I experience this a lot actually, for example when my sister drives 8 hours to come visit I am constantly worried that something will happen to her on the way here. Or when nothing is happening I still think about this. I fear my family dying all the time/them getting older (being completely alone and how I would not survive/kill myself) and although they are in good health I have a lot of thoughts about this.

2. I think this is similar to splitting. What happens with me is I could think someone is wonderful one minute and then they do something I don't like, even something incredibly small, and then I really dislike/hate them. I start to believe they are just terrible bad people and don't want to be around them anymore. They call it black or white thinking, I do this not just in relationships thought but with a lot of things, like for example I sometimes hate the world, like really hate it and believe there is nothing good about it and no good people, and then sometimes I think the world is this wonderful place, there is no middle ground from me.

Do you have a therapist? Have you spoken to them about BPD?