Yes anger and compassion can exist at the same time. Definitely. In my therapy in the past 2 weeks i have cried with compassion for my mother, what she's lost out on, for her troubles, how she's never felt good enough to truly be my mother because of mistakes she's made. Her problems have damaged all of us and it's just so utterly tragic. I break my heart talking about it to my T. But sometimes on an inner child level i am so angry, it's all about me and i am pissed off. And hurt. And full of " by why can't i have the mummy i wanted/needed?" Both exist in me.

As for the email... i dunno it's up to you. I think she needs to know but the best thing to do would be to give her it in person.