Thank you for all of your responses. I have been in counselling on and off since I was 8 years old, the latest therapist I lost as I work a screwy schedule and missed too many appointments. I have a great pdoc, takes a long time to see him tho, still waiting for a cancelled appt where they will fit me in. I have been sick for many years, so I do know it ebbs and flows. Just hard to get out. And I have never asked friends or family for help before in all these years. I never know what to ask for exactly, because when I am in an especially sick time I don't even know what I need.