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Old Feb 19, 2014, 11:17 AM
PeeJay PeeJay is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 684
This T's level of strictness on e-mail and boundaries seems excessive to me.

It's JUST e-mail. And you wanted an extra session for help getting through a tough time. Is she that busy that she has to say no?

Now maybe it's a boundary crossing to e-mail her with a crisis situation. But an e-mail about your feelings is just an e-mail.

I realize she doesn't want to get sucked down the rabbit hole of e-mail exchanges. But you aren't doing that.

I wonder if you are better of with a T where your needs can be better aligned. Like, she has a right to not want to do extra sessions. But you also have a right to need or request them.

All relationships are a negotiation of give and take. I don't understand why her "boundary needs" are set in stone but yours have to be flexible.

Yearning, you don't strike me as an out-of-control, over-demanding person. I think your request for an extra session is reasonable.

Take a dating couple. If one needs to be told "I love you" once a day and one doesn't want to have to say it that often, they have competing needs and neither is WRONG. But it might be a deal breaker for one of them.

Are the boundaries set by this T a deal breaker for you?

Maybe you cut this T more slack because she is comfortable with LGBT issues. But most Ts should be super comfortable with all sexuality types.

(My T also doesn't do email and is super curt when talking about scheduling. It is jarring and hurtful how she can go from caring and empathetic to All Business in two seconds. I don't like it. But it's not a deal breaker for me.)
Thanks for this!
Yearning0723