As a daughter of a mentally ill mother, I can tell you that I agree with Gayle. She needs some space. It's very difficult not to be angry at your parent for that. Especially if you had suicidal thoughts. She may not understand that the thoughts are part of your condition, she may just see it as abandonment. She thinks you don't care about her, because why would you Even consider suicide otherwise? Someone who hasn't been there can't understand the complexity of suicidal thoughts.

She will have to deal with it on her own terms. You say you've always been close, but have you had severe mood episodes for a long time? It's possible you don't know how your condition has affected her growing up. I was the angriest at my mother for a lifetime of emotional neglect between 18 and 21. But eventually I was able to forgive her for everything she had done or not done. But if she had pushed me I would have just pushed her away.

All I would say is keep letting her know you love her and that you're sorry and that you're doing verything you can to gt better. That's all you can do. And show her - go to therapy, take your meds, etc. she will come back to you.