This is getting interesting...
I can try to please myself for hours, but nothing works. I can try just about every form of self-stimulation that you can think up, but I can't get a decent relief from anything. Not even with my girlfriend watching, which gets her worked up. She'll even go as far as helping me try to get off, but I just can't. I'll try really hard, and even go really fast if I have to, but I can't get off hardly at all. Then, on top of this, I'll have random orgasms, and I won't even be in a sexually-stimulated status. I can be at school, and all of a sudden, I'm biting my lip, leaning my head back, trying to hold back a super loud moan. It's ridiculous! No one knows why, but my therapist has said that it might be something that I need to go see a sex therapist for.
I hope that her kidney infection gets better soon so that you can get back to doing what you two do best