Quote:
Originally Posted by mswinter
Have you ever written an email to your T when you were upset with him/her, whining about how he/she doesn't care about hurting you, etc?
Have you then re-read the email an hour later and found it childish/pathetic?
I'm so embarrassed. I keep reading this email I sent to my T a couple of hours ago and I find it more pathetic each time... 
This is what I wrote:
"I know that you had hoped to never see me again, but why not even the smallest act of repair?
All I heard you say was, "I could have handled it more elegantly and decisively." All I needed you to say was, "I'm sorry this has hurt you so much" - "I wish we could have found a way to handle this without hurting you."
I'm so worthless to you that even the most basic principle of reparative experience shouldn't be wasted on me. Why is it of no importance to you if I get bruised and hurt? What makes it so easy to hurt me and not care."
We had our first session in months yesterday, and I left upset. But I really wish I could take the email back now. I never meant to sound so pathetic and needy. |
I feel that way sometimes when I call/email T too (less so with this T than with past Ts) and one way I've learned to deal with it is to sleep on an email before sending it. If it feels urgent and pressing to you, that means you're not in the right frame of mind to send it. If you write something and still want to send it 24 hours later, there's a good chance that it's important, but sending things in the heat of the moment is usually a recipe for embarrassment. But hopefully a good T can work with you and not shame you for your mistakes in sending emails in the heat of the moment.