Although I am very close to my mum and love her dearly, sometimes she says things that make me feel like crap.

She thinks my paranoid thoughts have got to do with low self esteem and constantly tries to suggest that I dress in more feminine clothes. She said to me that because I wear dark colours, I draw attention to myself and it causes more people to look at me and says I need to wear brighter clothes which would probably draw more attention than what I usually wear.

She thinks the way I dress or do my hair or anything draws attention and says I'll stop having these thoughts if I do so, which it doesn't. She thinks it's just social anxiety and stress and tries to belittle my thoughts and make it seem less serious and thinks that it's something I'll get over soon. She gave me a full on lecture about anxiety whilst I was sitting in a cafe where people were within earshot of hearing the conversation which made me more and more paranoid.

I just feel unaccepted because she thinks I'll be more 'presentable' if I do these things, but I don't care about that, I am comfortable with how I dress, yes I feel crap about myself sometimes but my paranoid thoughts aren't always linked to that.

I just don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to go out, I don't want to go to school and I don't want to spend time with anyone anymore.